6th graders.

Nick's Mom came up to me last week and told me this exact conversation she had with her son. It made me laugh.

Mom: Nick, who is that girl?
Nick: MOM, she is not a GIRL, she is a LADY!!!
Mom: Oh my bad, I am sorry. She is definitely a lady. Well is she replacing Mrs. Lees this week?
Nick: No Mom... she is a teacher!
Mom: Well then, why is she observing Mrs. Lees?
Nick: She is getting training on how to be the best teacher!

I thought I was not a fan of middle schoolers... and I was proved wrong. I love them.

22 and Friends

On Wednesday I celebrated my 22nd birthday with my closest girlfriends. These girls have supported me, loved me, encouraged me, challenged me, and have enjoyed life with me. I felt so cheesy when I was looking around the table because all I wanted to do was give a little speech on why I loved each of them so much. God has been incredibly loving to me in bringing such amazing girls into my life- most of them Intercultural Studies majors, of course. Haha.

As I was looking around the table I was thinking, "Wow, these girls are going places. God has put such crazy passions in each of their hearts." So because of that I want to give a little blog shout out to them all and express the passions that the Lord has given them.

(Going clock wise.)

Teddi- This lovely lady is engaged to the man of her dreams and has a huge heart for the Lord. Both her and her fiancée serve in their college group. She is planning on getting her Masters in Social Work and using her love for art to help underprivileged.

Emily- Em has been one of my most beloved friends at Biola. We just click. She is destined to work with immigrant women in the United States by using TESOL. I ADORE HER.

Justine- This crazy girl has been my roommate and my adventure buddy. We have gone to DC together, walked through life together (good and bad) and totally love each other. She has a heart for inner city Chicago and wants to work in the city doing community health

Michelle- Michelle is completely real and has a big heart for Jesus. She is stubborn and knows that God is calling her to minister to the people of Hollywood. She wants to go far away from here, but knows that God is leading her on a completely crazy road.

Shannon- Shan is my soul sister. She knows my heart and knows well... knows everything. She said she would never go to the Middle East and that she was destine for Argentina... but God switched things up. She now lives in Artesia (Little India) with her husband and is planning on moving to the Middle East in the next few years for long-term Missions.

Kat- Kat is so GREAT. I cannot emphasize the word great enough. She is hilarious, sweet, fun, and so loving. This incredible ICS alum has a heart for human rights and is going to pursue her dream by going to law school and hopefully working for the State Dept or other human right groups by using her law background.

Rachel- Rach is my homegirl and lovely roommate. She is one of the silliest people I know and has a big heart for art. Even though I do not understand anything in the art realm, she has helped me appreciate it greatly. She is most likely going be doing commercial photography in the lovely food world.

Christina- My sister and my best friend. She loves Mexican children SO much. She is headed for inner city Los Angeles after graduation to teach elementary school children.

Melissa- This is Christina's best friend and one my dear friends as well. She is going to be an elementary school teacher as well. Melissa makes me laugh more than most people. We just "get" each other.

Sophie- Soph and I have only been friends since about March. It feels like we have known each other forever. God has called her to be a leader- I just know it. She is going to do something crazy in the government and in regards to International Relations/Development. She has a big heart for India and will probably return after graduation.

As you can see... God has blessed me with a lot of girlfriends who have big hearts and big passions. I am blessed.

Thank you girls for being you- for reals.

21.

Well well this is the last day of my life as a 21 year old. When you say you are 21 to people younger you feel old. But when you say you are 21 to those older than you they just think you are drinking all the time. So I am kind of excited to switch up the number.

Although 22 is a somewhat boring number, I think it completely beats the number 19. So bring it 22.

Being 21 has been a year full of challenges, growth, and a shift in passions. I celebrated my 21st birthday in Washington D.C. at Matchbox (had the most delicious burger) with some of my closest girlfriends their.

21 has been a shift in passions. I thought I was destine for the middle east, but God has other plans... teaching in the inner city. Who knew?

God blessed me with an internship at World Vision this summer and been opening all sorts of doors in the teaching world recently. I am incredibly humbled by the work that He is doing around me.

I am just thankful to be alive. I am thankful to serve a God who loves me so much- even though I cannot fully comprehend it.

Tomorrow I am going to The Olive Tree (my favorite Arabic food restaurant) with some of my closest friends- I cannot wait!

Current train of thought: Must survive finals!

I AM GOING TO MEMPHIS IN 11 DAYS. AH (so excited).

Swim Team

I do not know if I will end up in Memphis, but I was looking at swim teams their and came across this incredibly cute picture. I have had a dream since I was a child to coach a swim team. Teaching children to swim is one of my FAVORITE things to do. I love it so much. I was reading an article awhile back that swimming is one of the best sports for children who grow up in poverty. It is a sport that improves a child's self-esteem, independence, and perseverance. It is also a team sport- where you have to rely on each other but you note each others gifts. I just think it is the best sport, but maybe I am completely bias.

Enjoy this picture for what it is :)

Thanksgiving

Home was marvelous. Lots of time with my family and as you can see, lots of time with my Dad. It was 30 degrees, I wore my North Face every single day, hiked, gained five pounds (most likely), and loved every second of it :)

(The first two pictures are not very clear because they are from my phone.)

Doesn't this look extremely enjoyable? 

I wish it was me.

Welcome to Reality

Honor killings are real. They happen daily, especially in the Middle East. Read about it- be informed so you can pray.

"A Killing Set Honor Above Love" by John Leland and Namo Abdulla from the New York Times.

A Snapshot at History

Sometimes I wish I was alive to hear Martin Luther King Jr. give his "I have a Dream Speech." I am just so inspired by this man. When I was studying in D.C. I would walk to the Lincoln Memorial from my apartment, bring a book to read, and sit on the steps of the memorial. One time I had to put my book down because I kept getting visuals of what it would be like to be there when he was giving his speech. I have also been writing my Gospel and Culture paper on Education Reform in Memphis. I have taken quite a close look at how the Civil Rights Movement and segregation have contributed to education in Memphis. Let's just say my love for studying history has been rekindled. 


On Tuesday I have to perform some poetry and lyric pieces. Most people did a poetry program about people being lost and not knowing God. I thought I would switch it up and do it on poetry and song lyrics from the Civil Rights Movement. Totally normal, right? Probably not.


A tiny part of it is below from Mr. Bob Dylan himself. P.s. If you are super cool and think that spending time reading MLK's "I have a Dream Speech" is worthwhile (which it is) then read it here. 


Death of Emmett Till (1963) by Bob Dylan
Twas down in Mississippi no so long ago,
When a young boy from Chicago town stepped through a Southern door.
This boy's dreadful tragedy I can still remember well,
The color of his skin was black and his name was Emmett Till.

Some men they dragged him to a barn and there they beat him up.
They said they had a reason, but I can't remember what.
They tortured him and did some evil things too evil to repeat.
There was screaming sounds inside the barn, there was laughing sounds out on the street.

Then they rolled his body down a gulf amidst a bloody red rain
And they threw him in the waters wide to cease his screaming pain.
The reason that they killed him there, and I'm sure it ain't no lie,
Was just for the fun of killin' him and to watch him slowly die.

And then to stop the United States of yelling for a trial,
Two brothers they confessed that they had killed poor Emmett Till.
But on the jury there were men who helped the brothers commit this awful crime,
And so this trial was a mockery, but nobody seemed to mind.

I saw the morning papers but I could not bear to see
The smiling brothers walkin' down the courthouse stairs.
For the jury found them innocent and the brothers they went free,
While Emmett's body floats the foam of a Jim Crow southern sea.

If you can't speak out against this kind of thing, a crime that's so unjust,
Your eyes are filled with dead men's dirt, your mind is filled with dust.
Your arms and legs they must be in shackles and chains, and your blood it must refuse to flow,
For you let this human race fall down so awfully low!

This song is just a reminder to remind your fellow man
That this kind of thing still lives today in that ghost-robed Ku Klux Klan.
But if all of us folks that thinks alike, if we gave all we could give,
We could make this great land of ours a greater place to live.

Lord help me

Let me just tell you how crazy this month is going to be... are you ready?

Next week I am giving my Gospel and Culture presentation.

In approximately 2 weeks I am going to my final Teach for America Interview.

In a little over 2 weeks I am going to find out if I passed my teaching exam.

By the end of the semester I will have written more papers in my life (just due to this semester alone) and will be done with my hardest semester.

Right after my last final I drive up to Northern California and catch a red eye to Memphis for my final interview.

I come home on a Sunday and leave for Germany that Tuesday at 6am.

Lord help me. It will be okay! It is just apart of the journey, right?

{Word}

I wonder

What if family looked like the way that God intended it?

I am researching Divorce pertaining to Poverty in Memphis.It is just one of the many sub-topics that are directly related to education in Memphis. I stumbled across this article. I think it is worth the read.

P.s. I really wish my paper would not make me cry every time I sit down to write it. It is just so sad.

Thankful

I am so thankful for the following reasons:

1. My TN middle school content knowledge test is over- now I just have to wait and pray that I passed :)
2. I saw my Mom, my Dad, my Grandma, my Stepmom, all of my Stepmom's family, and my church family from home this weekend.
3. I went to the beach for the first time since I started studying for my exam- and my soul feels refreshed.
4. Seeing my church family from home made me realize how thankful I am to have an extended family at home.
5. I just feel so loved and blessed. I have to write a fatty paper tomorrow (it will probably be around 40 pages), but I am not stressing, so praise the Lord.
6. God is good.

My Mom and I in Huntington Beach. 

A Friendly Reminder

Dr. Corey's e-mail/message, sent from Dr. Greene:

One thing I meant to mention at the end but neglected to do so was a word of encouragement to your students. If you could convey this to them, I would appreciate it.

My hope is that through the learning of this class that you as students interested in global service and making an impact for Christ, would take some risks and immerse yourself in one of those transformational environments. As I reflected with you last week, I remembered again how much I needed to break out experientially from my subculture and living in the world of the "other," only to discover that the "other" was not much different from me. We laughed and had families. We worked and loved. We needed to know grace. I challenge you as Biola students, mature and brave, to think and pray about how you might experience your "plunge" during these years of life in your twenties when you are about as free as you'll ever be to go for it with hardly anything to lose. As I write this, on my desk is a paperweight that reads, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" You have an exemplary professor in Dr. Greene who, among others, is giving you the tools you need and I wish I had. May something stir in your heart this semester calling you to a new challenge--beyond your comfort boundaries--that will change you for the good, for good. God has throughout history used willing college students like you to take some risks for the sake of Christ's love, risks that have few if any regrets.


{Amen}


It is a Friday night. I am home reviewing before the big test tomorrow and reminding myself that God has orchestrated all things for the purpose of His will. Pray for me, por favor. 

America Remembers

Obama is in The Republic of Korea today. Here is a video from The Republic of Korea and United States of America remembering the vets.

Watch this video from the White House Blog.

Say thank you to someone serving today or someone who has served!

I will not look like this on Thanksgiving, but I had to share this picture because Marilyn is looking pretty snazzy in this Pilgrim outfit. Last thanksgiving I was in Williamsburg, VA enjoying festivities with fake colonial people. I thought I was in a legit time machine and had to blink a few times to make sure it was real... which it was.

This thanksgiving I am going home (!!!) and will enjoy non-thanksgiving related food (hopefully). Last thanksgiving the only thing that I ate was chocolate fudge pie. It filled me up for the whole day because it was probably plus 2,000 calories. I do not know what it is, but I am not one for holiday food.

Obama in Indonesia

Sometimes I am really impressed with Obama.

He went to Indonesia on his trip to Asia, along with China and now Korea I believe. I think that this article is worth reading. Things to look for and give thought to: reconciliation, contextualization, effective communication, and religion.

Click below:

Obama in Indonesia

Bah- Sunday Sad Secrets.

Why is this so sad? Why is Post Secrets Sunday blog sooo depressing?

Lots of people are hurting in this world. Lots of people are lonely too.

Jesus, rescue them.

I am going to start praying for these people.

Preach it DuBois

"Of all of the civil rights for which the world has struggled and fought for 5,000 years, the right to learn is undoubtedly the most fundamental…The freedom to learn…has been bought by bitter sacrifice. And whatever we may think of the curtailment of other civil rights, we should fight to the last ditch to keep open the right to learn, the right to have examined in our schools not only what we believe but what we do not believe; not only what our leaders say, but what the leaders of other groups and nations, and the leaders of other centuries have said. We must insist upon this to give our children the fairness of a start which will equip them with such an array of facts and such an attitude toward truth that they can have a real chance to judge what the world is, and what its greater minds have thought it might be.”

-W.E.B. DuBois, "The Freedom to Learn," 1949

The Bay

I have been trying to wrap my mind around a lingering thought recently: why do I think it is not okay to be comfortable or to go after something that I know will be comfortable?

This thought has been in my mind for quite some time now. I have a huge heart for the bay area and every time I think about it I am overcome with joy.  But when I think about spending my life their I feel guilty and think that I do not deserve it, because my life would be too easy or that I would not be fulfilling what Jesus was all about- denying our selves. But was that really all that Jesus was about? I believe that we are supposed to deny ourselves daily, but we are also suppose to go after the things that we love. Jesus came to bring life, and life abundantly.

I had dinner with my friend Justine the other night and I was telling her about my concern with thinking that I do not deserve to live in the Bay because of living comfortably. She reassured me that having the passion I do for the bay area and for change is not something that is necessarily from myself, but from the Lord. I know this may sound silly… but I have NEVER have thought of it like that. I always thought I was being selfish because it is my favorite place in the world.  The Lord puts desires on our hearts for a reason- and He will most likely use our desires to bring about some crazy plan that we never dreamed of.

Someday I will return to the Bay Area. I am sure of it. I will live in San Francisco and either teach, work for a non-profit, or something of that sort.

It is kind of fun to try to look at your life from a birds eye view. Kind of frightening as well. I still want to go Memphis- extremely bad. I believe that if the Lord places me their I will be challenged and stretched. I will grow like crazy and I will hopefully master the art of teaching.  Hopefully I will be a light. God uses everything for His glory- I just have to remember that.

Although this may sound like I am stressing out, I am not. I am rather content and know that the Lord will place me where He desires. That is a rather comforting thought right there. 

Costco and Halloween

Today Beachcomber 106 had to go on a Costco run to get toilet paper and paper towels. For those who do not know me: I LOVE COSTCO. I love grocery shopping. I could spend hours in Costco. Not only are there slippery floors that you can slide on, but you get free samples! Every time I go there I get so happy. I went there in my Adidas shorts and a baggy t-shirt on, along with my Rainbows. When I was in Costco I became somewhat nostalgic for home. People in Southern California do not look like they are grocery shopping, they look like they are ready for the mall or a concert all the time. This does not happen in Northern California. It is socially acceptable for people to wear work out attire all day long. Time is much slower and the pace of life is so much more peaceful. People say hello to one another in the grocery store and on the street. I feel like I am in my own skin at home. 

This year I have actually gotten to the place where I feel like I could fit into the life of Southern California. There are some things, such as casual fashion, that make me miss home. People are not home bodies or even bad dressers, it is just so much more peaceful and comfy. Ah home, how I long for you (only a few more weeks). 

On another note: It is HALLOWWEEEEEEN! My roommates and I dressed up as the Spice Girls. I think that all of our costumes were quite appropriate. I was Sporty Spice, Christina was Baby, Rachel was Ginger, and Melissa was Posh. I am not a lesbian, but somehow I am the Sporty one of the group. Some say that I have fast forwarded into a soccer mom because I make sure that my clothes are always comfortable- I still look cute sometimes though, so it;s okay (at least I hope so)! Rachel is sassy and has the wit. Christina is just a baby- haha- and has blonde hair so it works perfectly. And Melissa always wears dresses, so she had to! I kept joking about Sporty Spice being a lesbian... and then I found out that she really is. Just my luck. Oh well- at least she is a good looking one! We went trick-or-treating as 21 year olds, played cut-throat mafia, and pictionary with our lovely neighbors and friends. It was grand.


I hope your Halloween was eventful and full of giggles :)

Teaching

Today when I walked into the classroom of second graders they all screamed. They were stoked- it has only been a week since I saw them last.

I was feeling the love big time. It was two kids birthday's and the teachers (who was having a hard time teaching because she was sick). Because of this I had the opportunity to read with the kids individually during their silent reading time. I almost started crying- one of the kids was having such a hard time reading that he was completely silent. He was tearing up and I just wanted to hug him and find out what is going on inside his brain. This made me want to learn more about learning disorders, how to address them, and how to work with them. It is not right for a student to be grade levels behind when the other students are not. Ah- it killed me.

I read a story to the kids for about 20 minutes. It was so great because we went over all the things they were learning about different vocabulary, non-fiction vs. fiction, and inferences. I was eating it UP- I felt so alive.
Not to mention that the Principal walked in while I was reading- which for some reason gave me great energy.

The students did a worksheet that was about nouns- which we went over and corrected afterwards. I REALLY LOVE explaining grammar to kids- nouns, verbs, and adjectives for these second graders. They just love learning so much and are easily molded that I am awe.  Learning should never get old. I feel like I am on the same level as them sometimes because we both love learning and the process of it.

Today was my last day with them. I am pretty bummed- but feel really blessed too. I had the chance to observe a teacher who was a Christian in a really diverse public school. Most of these kids come from broken families.

I got lots of hugs as I left and a lot of little kids screaming, "You are such a great Teacher Ms. Angela." As I left the teacher I observe told me that I am a natural and that I will be a great teacher!

I am just basking in encouragement. I feel so blessed- and I praise the Lord above all else for this experience.

Worth it.

"Tyler, Tyler, Tyler...!" After trying to get his attention, I had to start repeating his name. I was working with three kids who have learning disabilities and are often neglected. The teacher does not have time to spend with them in class because of all of the material that she needs to cover. When volunteers come in it is a huge help, because these students get some one-one-one time. 

I was askied to work on grammar with them. Their poor little brains do not comprehend it well and it seemed completely foreign to them. After about ten minutes the sentence, "I walked to the store yesterday" instead of "I walk to the store yesterday" finally made sense.

I feel so bad for these kids because they feel so lost during instruction and need way more attention then someone can give them.  They need testing and aids. 

As I left the classroom I was thinking "Man, I hope I wasn't too hard on Tyler since I was trying to get him to focus." Side note: He is a pretty shy kid as it is and has a hard time opening up.

The kids were at recess when I was leaving. He saw that I was leaving, ran up to me, wrapped his arms around my legs tightly and said, "Thank you Miss Angela." 

That hug expressed more than words could. That is why I am excited about this journey.

This speaks for itself. Especially for toady. 

Why is this so funny?!

Thankful in the Midst

I stress constantly. This is something that I have come to know more and more about myself throughout college. This is also something I do not like about myself at all. This year, as to be expected, is quite stressful. I have heard from previous classmates that Gospel and Culture should be called "Gospel and Torture," which I would agree with only in a slight sense- due to the large amount of reading. This year I have a different professor teaching the class then usual and the structure and expectations have changed a tad bit.

I went into class the other day expecting to get the approval to write about a community development initiative in Appalachia and the need for education to be improved and I left with the approval of writing about issues pertaining and affecting urban children in Memphis, TN. My professor asked me, "Well, is that what you really want to do?" And I went on to tell her about Memphis and she straight up said, "I want you to do what will benefit you in your future- something that you can use." Um... okay! Only at Biola- I tell you. I have been so encouraged by my professors. They are always here to back us up and have our best interest in mind. After class as I was leaving she went through her library and handed me a book that deals directly with the issues that I want my paper to discuss. Gospel and Culture is not so much torture after all... at least not yet.

I have been feeling really overwhelmed about a test that I am taking before I can go to Memphis, but God has been gracious with time. I have been studying up a storm- and I am relearning all United States history and math it feels ha. Which is somewhat sad... but hey I haven't done it in a while.

I am thankful for my roommates and for the close knit of friends who I have been able to hang out with only briefly recently. My social life has said "Adios" for a bit, but it will make a great return soon. I am sure of that.

And the last thing I am thankful for is the classroom that I have been working in. I am observing a 2nd grade classroom at a local La Mirada school and could not be more excited about it. It is my favorite time of the week. I walk out of the classroom every Thursday so happy,  feeling like I am on cloud nine. I have been able to work with students who have learning disabilities and students who are wanting to learn more and more every time I come in. I find myself dreaming about lesson plans- It is kind of odd. I still find it kind of funny that God is showing me this love my last year of school. Sometimes things work out this way!

Anyways, I just wanted to give a quick update.

Best wedding ever... I miss it.

I am nostalgic. I just had lunch with my beloved friend Shannon and once I mentioned Rocky Point I became instantly nostalgic. Not to mention when I walked back to her office with her there was a picture of her and Joel from Rocky Point to add to it.

As I have said before, I do not think any wedding can top that wedding. Friends, laughter, happy hour twice a day, wine, ocean, warm water, best tacos ever, Mexico, no rules, loved ones... I mean the list could go on forever, let's be honest.

Here are some pictures to fancy your eyes (from Rachel McCord Photography).

I have to raise 600 dollars....

to invest in young girls lives from an Air Force base in Germany with Meghan and go on the "Winter Blitz" trip through Young Life to Austria. Oh and not to mention this...

• 6 nights @ European 4 star ski in/out ski hotel nestled at over 4500 feet in the Austrian Alps, 5 breakfasts, 5 dinner
• 1 day Innsbruck Trip, 1 day Indoor Water Park Trip, New Years Eve Celebration
• Club, games, music, entertainment, laughter and fun every night with friends!
• Sledding & Snow activities at the lodge

I am excited. I need to figure out who would want to donate to a good cause :) 

Steward

I am learning what it means to be a steward of time. That is right. I do not want my blog to become a whine fest- but I will say it once and for all: My schedule is out of CONTROL. On top of everything that is due and making money, I am studying for two teaching exams. The programs I am applying to/have applied to depend on them. So I am studying like a mad woman.

I am constantly reminding myself, "Angela, this is a season! Come December 19th you can party and be carefree." That is truth right there my friends. Come December 19th... I will be done with my final interview for MTR, my UCLA app will be in (if I pass the CSET that is), and on December 21st I will be headed to Germany. Party on.

So in the mean time my social life is going down the tubes... for about two more months.

I must say I lucked out with my major though because I just got back from Westwood and mapped out Persian Square and talked to a really sweet PhD student who is Persian. He just moved here from Vancouver to LA two weeks ago. I thank God for my ability to talk to strangers and strike up convo or else this project would be disastrous. I am trying to map out the Persian Population and Nod in LA, which is going to be quite a challenge. It is for the purpose of Church Planting and for churches to better understand the population. I am coming to love Persians... they are the most BEAUTIFUL people I believe God created. I mean, that are a lot of beautiful people in this world, but they are definitely up there. So I mean I cannot complain too much about time because I still get to go to LA all the time. For class I get to go to Little India and Watt's for tutoring on Monday's... I still have my fair share of fun :)

Pray for time to multiple, please.

Big Girl Stuff

Today I got asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend Teddi's wedding, which is NEXT January! Ha, so a long time from now. I am just so excited, even though I have no idea where I will be at that time. Wherever I will be, I will just be one plane flight away and $300 short. All worth it for a friend I love and support greatly :)

I am starting to think that I might, JUST MAYBE, be the person who will be in a lot of peoples wedding, maybe 27 before I get married. Who knows. I hope not.

On another note, I feel like a big girl because I am taking the admission counselors advice from USC. He keeps calling me and telling me about their teaching program. I keep insisting that I am not going to apply to USC and he has told me at least three times, "Angela, you need to expand your options." At first I was thinking, "Why is this guy that I don't even know telling me this!?" And now I am thinking, "Ha, he is probably so right!"

Even though I am set on MTR, that does not mean that I should not explore my options. I mean after all if I do not get it, that does not mean I should stop pursuing the teaching route. So ladies and gentlemen, I am going to complete my application for Teach for America and apply to UCLA's Master in Education Program. High hopes... I know.

Although the future is exciting and not set in stone... I need to pay a little bit more time on the present.  So here we go.

straight up truth

"Cruciform love is inclusive. Cruciform love, continuing the story of God's love in Christ for all the world, includes all: believer and nonbeliever. Gentile and Jew, woman and man, friend and enemy. It is a love characterized not by 'exclusion' but by 'embrace.'"

-Gorman in Cruciformity, p.391

Kingdom & Blessings

Mother Teresa once said, "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." When we stop and think about our God and His desire for the kingdom to be more bright in this world that could not be more true. We are living in the already but not yet stage of the kingdom. I have been thinking about the individualistic view of salvation and the gospel. God never desired the gospel to be a sin management gospel or a three step plan. The gospel is so full of life, it is whole, it is more than just salvation... it is a way of life. It is about caring for the poor, loving our enemies, surrendering our lives, endless grace, redemption, fighting for good, etc. It is a big picture that sometimes we miss. I think Biola does a fine job of making sure that the gospel really is full. As far as I know, most people do not see a hole in the gospel here on Biola's campus. We talk about social issues, have outreaches, feed the poor, and go serve among those who need love. 

Mother Teresa was one smart lady. She understood God's love for His children, that is for sure. God uses every single one of us in some small way to bless others. Sometimes I say "It's just your life" in response to people freaking out about the future and how they are going to serve. God wants to use us. God wants to open our eyes. God wants us to love others the way He would love. God desires for people to have abundant lives. God desperately wants people to know that they are loved and valued- after all He was the one who created them in their Mothers womb, so don't they have a purpose on this earth as well? What about the homeless man who walks across the street barefoot- doesn't he have a purpose? I believe so. 

So we are an instrument for God. We are the aroma of Christ... so let's be a pretty smell that attracts people to knowing that there are bits of the kingdom here on earth. 

On Wednesday I had a phone interview with Memphis Teaching Residency and found out that I got selected for the Fall Selection weekend in December. When I found out I went from the nervousness of asking "When will I find out" to jumping for joy and shedding a few tears. This Memphis journey has gone from a city that God put on my heart to a city that I have fallen in love with, all through prayer. God has his way of blessing- even if it is just to make it to the next step. Now I don't know how I am going to pay to go out there- but I know that I will make it out there. 

God loves to bless. Today Shannon asked me if I wanted to go out on a boat with her parents and Joel and let me tell you... It was SUCH a blessing. The water was beautiful, the weather was gorgeous, and I was with some of my favorite people. It was family time to me. 

I say let's let God use us in His love letter... after all He already wrote it already. 

Farmer's Markets

I was just exploring LA Times this morning... getting my morning update. I lingered over to the Living section and then to Food... and found this GLORIOUS link. Click below.
Farmer's Markets in LA

Looks like someone is going to be hitting up a bunch of wonderful places.

Russia

I am working in SMU Right now and one of the lovely secretarial duties is to check to the mail every day. Most of the time when I check the SMU mailbox it is a lot of newsletters from different Missions Organizations. As bad as it sounds, I do not have time to read them so I end up just throwing them away.

Today's newsletter, from a Missions Organization that I will not name, caught my eye. The newsletter said with a big heading "Pastor: Murdered in Russia." It is not unlikely that pastors are murdered in Muslim populated areas, but this really hit me. Russia? Really?!

This man who was murdered was spreading the gospel and loving on lots of people in the community. A lot of people were coming to know the Lord through this man. People were yearning for Jesus and the church was growing. He was killed because of it.

Please pray that these believers would not be scared, that they would continue seeking the Lord, and that the church would continue to grow!

Jesus, Memphis, and Skid Row

I want to go teach in Memphis so stinkin' bad that I cannot see straight, literally! P.s. I am almost done with my application.

I also think that Jesus is the most beautiful person EVER. I am continuously in awe of his ways and how he loves people so deeply. He meets us where we are at and cares for the lowest of low. I saw his love so real and raw on Skid Row this weekend. People worshiping the Lord who had drug addictions ... but redeemed. People who wanted to kill themselves... but captured by his love. People who wanted to kill someone... but were calmed by the gentleness of the spirit. People who were demon possessed... but couldn't get away from the worship. Urine filled the streets... but God's love POURED over that street.

Jesus is the smartest man that ever walked this earth. I wish I could do everything he said. This is a life time journey for sure.

I also realized the perfect man for me when I was on Skid Row. Don't worry he didn't live there. The Lord gave me a picture of the perfect man- no joke. Here it goes... One who I can serve with, who is a prayer warrior, who loves unconditionally, who delights in serving the lowest of low, and who will be a protector/provider.

There you have it. Bring it Jesus.

lo siento

Between taking 17 units, working 15 hours a week, applying to programs, trying to get involved in ministries, and being gone for three weekends this month... I have neglected my blog.

So I am sorry blog. I will return to you soon with some exciting stories.

September 1st is approaching

On September 1st the application for MTR opens :) Lets just say that I am excited. God has put a few people in my life that are in this program and have been a great resource to me. Whenever I think about Memphis I visualize change. I have never even been there- but I have heard a lot of things about it. I have heard it is ghetto, all African Americans poor, hot, that I would stick out like a sore thumb and that I would scream "California." None of those things sound super appealing yet it is still a city that God has asked me to pray for. The other day I was telling someone that the thought of going to Memphis would be me completely outside of my comfort zone and someone I didn't even know was listening chimed in and said "Our life is not suppose to be about comfort!"It was simple, yet so true. Sometimes I find people saying "Well we will see what God wants... He will figure it out." I think we often forget that we can seek, pray, and ask for God's direction throughout the process and we do not have to wait until the end result. Things happen in steps. It is all about being obedient in the small things. That is what I am doing just with applying. 


Here is the website to check out: http://www.memphistr.org/


(Here is a sneak peak from the website)

Nationally,

• Fourth graders growing up in low-income communities are already three grade levels behind their peers in high-income communities.
• Only 7% of low-income 8th grade students complete a bachelor's degree within 12 years.
• About 50% of them won’t graduate from high school by the time they are 18 years old.
• By twelfth grade, African Americans are typically four years behind their more affluent peers.  These students are finishing High School with a Junior High education.
• Those who do not graduate from high school will earn approximately $17,000 annually, and those who only graduate from high school but do not attend college will earn only $20,000 annually – both below the national poverty level. 
• The resulting social chaos from a lifetime of such low earnings potential is extreme.Only 1 in 10 will graduate from college.

In Memphis,

• 97% of African-American children attend public schools.  49% of white children attend public schools.
• More than half of all children living in Memphis live in neighborhoods of concentrated poverty (as defined by neighborhoods in which at least 20% of households live beneath the poverty level).
• Half of children living in high poverty neighborhoods change schools at least once per year.  Changing schools is associated with academic under-performance.
• Approximately 5,000 young men and women turn 19 every year in Memphis without a High School diploma. Shelby County residents who work without a High School diploma earn, on average, $17,000 annually.  College graduates earn $44,700 annually.

It doesn't have to be this way.  These statistics can change.

My desire for this year

My one and up-most desire for this year is to...

have a servants heart and to truly find joy in serving others. Jesus must increase and I must decrease.


I have been praying about this and today Rebecca in SMU told me that she had a dream about this. Funny how the Holy Spirit works.

Bring it Lord. Bring it.
And friends... keep me accountable to this. Thank you :)

Re-vamp

Last year when I interned at Refugees International and now this summer at World Vision I walked into the internships thinking that they were going to change my life. I thought that they would be filled with wisdom, lots of interesting people, and jobs that were infused with passion. I was somewhat right. I met a lot of really interesting people at both of these organizations. So interesting in fact that today when I was going over my syllabus in Community Development that I realized we are reading a book from my boss and another book from one of the Advisory Councils. Crazy.

After my internship in D.C. I realized that working in the office was not for me. I remember taking Myers Briggs quite a few times and read bio's on what kind of jobs would work best for an ENFJ. It always came down to social worker, teacher, or event coordinator. 

Before working at World Vision this summer I was stoked again. I forgot that I hate working in an office and accepted the reality that I will have to work in an office in order to make it to the field someday. Do not get me wrong, I really enjoyed my job this summer. I just do not think I am meant to work in an office (sounds naive since I am a college student). I think that God made people to live life to their full potential and if you saw me in an office you would see that I am drowning. Literally. Maybe it all comes down to the fact that I have not been in an office job where I am completely passionate, but that is besides the point. 

Today in Community Development my passion for development was renewed. All summer long development became this thing that was editing papers for the common good of children (that I constantly had to remind myself). All summer I felt like development was putting too much attention on unnecessary detail and people forgot about what the work was actually for. There will always be a great disconnect between the office and the work that is actually on the ground.

Raw and real development isn't all about that- although that is necessary. Today in class my passion for this subject came alive again. I was super  burnt out after this summer and after last fall. This tends to happen often when I am in an office setting doing something related with Relief or Development. When I worked at MIKA I knew I had to work directly with the people- that is where lives are changed and people are empowered. 

I am just happy that God never lets me forget, no matter how stubborn I am, that He desires His people to live lives that are whole and restored (Isaiah 61). Take a read and notice how community development is desired by God.

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
       because the LORD has anointed me 
       to preach good news to the poor. 
       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
       to proclaim freedom for the captives 
       and release from darkness for the prisoners, 

 ² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
       and the day of vengeance of our God,
       to comfort all who mourn,

 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
       to bestow on them a crown of beauty
       instead of ashes,
       the oil of gladness
       instead of mourning,
       and a garment of praise
       instead of a spirit of despair.
       They will be called oaks of righteousness,
       a planting of the LORD
       for the display of his splendor.

 ⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
       and restore the places long devastated;
       they will renew the ruined cities
       that have been devastated for generations.

Tomorrow is the first day of school!

This may sound silly but tomorrow is my very last "First Day of School." I am a bit of a dork so I already have my outfit set out (mainly because I have to work), my backpack ready to go, and my mind fully aware of what I am going to make for breakfast tomorrow. In honor of tomorrow we are all going to take some epic first day of school pics. You will see them soon.

Tomorrow is a free for all chapel but all my roomies and I are going because we cannot miss the epic DBC chapel. We figured it would be a good talk and an even more wonderful transition from summer into the semester.

Cheers to a new year! Full of love, joy, and LOTS of dependence on our Father (inshallah).



Also I love this song. I just had my sister listen to this and she was like "Oh yeah- I was at that concert." Haha, she is so on top of it.

My heart is all over ze place

We have all been there... having a bunch of ideas floating up in that glorious and complex brain of ours. Graduation in the near 9 months, my job starting up in a few days, trying to comprehend how the heck I am going to wake up at 8:30 everyday and end at 9 at night. I am a bit of shambles. It happens- it is all a part of life.

I will give you a little snap shot of the last few days with the new Biola babies. First of all I need to say something: I do not think I am an intimating person by any means. Apparently some freshmen girls think I am because when I talk to them they look like I am scary and too cool. Maybe I am just too overwhelming for them! I like to give them some hope so I have shared how I met most of my good friends the first few weeks at Biola. that is when i see a smile on their faces.

Tonight we had the commissioning of the freshmen/transfers to the Biola community. It was a lovely experience and I met some really nice girls who are eager to be at Biola. It is nice to have a fresh group of people who are stoked about school. Singspo took place after the commissioning- which is always good.

I have been reflecting on the fact that I, like many others (since we are sinners), get incredibly distracted by my purpose on this little earth. I often forget that God put me here for a reason and that my whole entire purpose of being is to glorify Him. If that is my entire purpose of being, then why do I neglect God all the time and forget about spending time with Him? This needs to change. I am most joyful when I am spending time with Jesus, who should be the #1 always. Today I caught myself in the car having a pity party  (in my head) over something and just stopped and was like "Seriously God, I cannot have pity parties, they are stupid and you are so much bigger- please do not allow me to have them." He stopped my pity party, of course.

This little heart is all over ze place. It is okay though- God is in the midst and is totally listening to some legit prayers. I hope I get some guidance soon- especially on if I should apply to Teach for America and/or Memphis Teaching Residency. Shoot up some prayers on those two please.

Back at a place i have grown to call "home"

It takes a lot for me to start to call something home. Biola has become a place over the last three years, going on four, where it actually feels like home. Driving off the 5 onto the lovely Firestone, making a right onto Rosecrans, and then left onto Biola Avenue has become a drive that is not only comforting, but feels right. Most of you know, or should know by now, that the only other place that I consider home is my home in Pleasanton (lived there from 4 years old until now).

I started up work (which has been basically a lot of hanging out) on Thursday with SMU/AS. I have loved every single second of it and feel so blessed by the people I get to work with (which consist of a LOT of my friends- score). We will be spending lots of time together so it is so good to just be enjoying each others company before school gets a hold of us and life gets a little wild.

A lot of my close friends have returned from internships/mission trips from all over the place including Calcutta, Peru, New York City, Zambia and many more places. I have been blessed with a lot of people who have an international mindset, yet see the desperate need in America as well. It has been an encouragement to me.

Every summer I feel like very random things happen to me. Actually my whole life has been pretty random and totally unexpected.This summer was kind of nuts and a lot of unexpected things happened. God answered some crazy prayers and had me learn some hard lessons as well. I learned a lot about love this summer and what it really means. When I say I learned what it really means, I just learned what it takes to really love and how God wants us to love Him. I have not particularly mastered the action quite yet- working on it (which will be a life long lesson for sure). The book of James has been teaching me a thing or two with this.

I have been alone in my apartment the last few days, which has actually turned out to be great. I have been able to really reflect on summer and what I want out of this next year. I bought a journal today just for senior year- so I can see how God worked throughout the year. I need to be faithful to that sucker!

I want this year to be God's. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and where God will take me, all I know is that I want to follow Him. I want to pray more and I want to learn how to be a better servant (which worked out because my job at school aligns perfectly with that). God needs to become more and I need to become less.

Biola is my second home. It is so nice. I walked outside my apartment yesterday and I know almost everyone in my apartment complex- talk about getting the hook up. I am so excited for this year and really sad that it is my last at Biola. I guess this means I need to really embrace every day- and not waste it away!

Every time I come home I find myself loving life and enjoying everything way more then I usually do. I always find myself thinking I am "sacrificing" something to be living in LA and then I feel bad and guilty for wanting to live in Northern California. Don't get me wrong- I love school and think it is great to live in Southern California for college.

I don't know why I feel guilty wanting to live in the bay. I wish I could figure this out. 

Just a thought.

Germany is a go!

Some people value night materialistic things. My family has always valued travel. Friday morning I received a call from my Maggi (my Stepmom) saying, "So I was just thinking... what days did you want to go to Germany?" I told her December 21- January 12. I thought she was just curious so I proceeded on with the conversation. About an hour later I checked my e-mail and got the most surprising message ever. She booked a flight for me to Germany and back- with her frequent flier miles that she didn't even know she had! I was in awe- she saved me about 1,000 dollars! I just feel so blessed. I am still at a loss of words.

Given that it is almost near to impossible to get a flight around Christmas with frequent flier miles, I will be leaving SFO on Dec. 21 to Boston, to Madrid, to Frankfurt. I have a fatty layover in Madrid (12 hours)! Which means... I am going to go exploring big time (if I can wake up from the Ambien I am going to take ha).

Looks like I will be sipping on hot chocolate spiked with rum, enjoying Christmas villages, skiing in the alps, buying a "Czech Me Out T-Shirt" in Prague (which is perfect because I am Czech), lots of best friend time, and much more for three weeks. I am a pretty happy girl.

Despite that lovely news, I am back at home in the bay getting lost in the stars, running into people left and right and eating delicious organic food. I have hung out with all my good friends, had a laughter filled bbq at Brads and heard some black bay area people scream "you go white girl" as I was going dumb to bay area rap last night at the club. Last night was reallyyy fun, but hearing that totally topped off my night.

I am in my element. This is where my heart is.

germany bound

I am saving up my money to go to Germany over Christmas. that is right, over Christmas. I am saying adios to the family for this holiday- which is a bummer- but i can't let my best friend celebrate Christmas all alone, that would be cruel. I will be in Germany (hopefully) for three weeks. first week is before Christmas, while I enjoy all of the cute festivities in Germany. The second week I will be in Austria skiing in the alps. No big deal. The third week we will hopefully be traveling to Prague in the the Czech Republic to give a shout out to my dead gypsy ancestors (holler)! 

It is going to be very cold while i am there. The whole time i am going to have to think "mind over matter!" I will happily take anyone's offer of warm clothing. I only own the bare minimum since I am not a fan of the cold. I need to save a butt load of money and by the time I buy the ticket i will be back at zero. But I mean, when else can my bank account be almost empty, I have three free weeks to travel, a free place to stay and a best friend who is living in germany? Close to almost never. This is the time to go friends!

Alps

 

Prague

I will take pictures of Germany... because I do not know all the exact places I'll be yet! This better happen.

Tijuana

If anyone knows me they know that I love my broken Spanish. It doesn't bother me at all and I still try to get by with it. On Monday morning, almost before the sun came up, a group of us World Vision employees jumped in a van and headed off to Tijuana, Mexico. The intention of the trip wasn't to come and do a week long missions trip, but to see what World Vision is doing on the field level. After all, the whole reason that World Vision exists is to do transformational work through communities.

Let me just tell you, it was amazing to see what World Vision is doing on the ground level. There seems to be a huge disconnect between the field when you are working in the Governance Dept, which deals with the highest people in society.

The place that we visited was an Urban Development Project (UDP). Ladies in the community came together, the children came together, and their husbands came to serve on the day that we were there to serve them. I thought they were just going to give us a ton of work to do, but instead they worked right along with us.

The things I took away from this tiny two day get-away were the following:

1. The work that WV does is sustainable. 50% of the funding comes from WV and the other 50% is from the community.
2. The people who run the community center are dedicated and see it as a place that is transforming their communities.
3. I saw hands on how the sponsored children felt empowered and were able to do more for their community because of the support of donors.
4. Mexican's are hard workers! Especially the women- I was put to shame.
5. There is a disconnect between the office and the field. I am so glad I got to see what the top actually does for the bottom- what WV is truly their for. I am glad that they have a program set up called "Vision Trips" so WV Employees can experience the work of WV on the field level.

I am just so in awe of how sustainable everything was on the field. Our Northern mind-sets sometimes have a hard time embracing and putting sustainability into practice, but the community center and the other projects that the UDP was working on were 100% community owned. I loved it.

Even though it was a short two day trip- it was the highlight of my time at World Vision. Lots of hugs and kisses saying "Adios" to those ladies and children.