The Bay

I have been trying to wrap my mind around a lingering thought recently: why do I think it is not okay to be comfortable or to go after something that I know will be comfortable?

This thought has been in my mind for quite some time now. I have a huge heart for the bay area and every time I think about it I am overcome with joy.  But when I think about spending my life their I feel guilty and think that I do not deserve it, because my life would be too easy or that I would not be fulfilling what Jesus was all about- denying our selves. But was that really all that Jesus was about? I believe that we are supposed to deny ourselves daily, but we are also suppose to go after the things that we love. Jesus came to bring life, and life abundantly.

I had dinner with my friend Justine the other night and I was telling her about my concern with thinking that I do not deserve to live in the Bay because of living comfortably. She reassured me that having the passion I do for the bay area and for change is not something that is necessarily from myself, but from the Lord. I know this may sound silly… but I have NEVER have thought of it like that. I always thought I was being selfish because it is my favorite place in the world.  The Lord puts desires on our hearts for a reason- and He will most likely use our desires to bring about some crazy plan that we never dreamed of.

Someday I will return to the Bay Area. I am sure of it. I will live in San Francisco and either teach, work for a non-profit, or something of that sort.

It is kind of fun to try to look at your life from a birds eye view. Kind of frightening as well. I still want to go Memphis- extremely bad. I believe that if the Lord places me their I will be challenged and stretched. I will grow like crazy and I will hopefully master the art of teaching.  Hopefully I will be a light. God uses everything for His glory- I just have to remember that.

Although this may sound like I am stressing out, I am not. I am rather content and know that the Lord will place me where He desires. That is a rather comforting thought right there.