September 1st is approaching

On September 1st the application for MTR opens :) Lets just say that I am excited. God has put a few people in my life that are in this program and have been a great resource to me. Whenever I think about Memphis I visualize change. I have never even been there- but I have heard a lot of things about it. I have heard it is ghetto, all African Americans poor, hot, that I would stick out like a sore thumb and that I would scream "California." None of those things sound super appealing yet it is still a city that God has asked me to pray for. The other day I was telling someone that the thought of going to Memphis would be me completely outside of my comfort zone and someone I didn't even know was listening chimed in and said "Our life is not suppose to be about comfort!"It was simple, yet so true. Sometimes I find people saying "Well we will see what God wants... He will figure it out." I think we often forget that we can seek, pray, and ask for God's direction throughout the process and we do not have to wait until the end result. Things happen in steps. It is all about being obedient in the small things. That is what I am doing just with applying. 


Here is the website to check out: http://www.memphistr.org/


(Here is a sneak peak from the website)

Nationally,

• Fourth graders growing up in low-income communities are already three grade levels behind their peers in high-income communities.
• Only 7% of low-income 8th grade students complete a bachelor's degree within 12 years.
• About 50% of them won’t graduate from high school by the time they are 18 years old.
• By twelfth grade, African Americans are typically four years behind their more affluent peers.  These students are finishing High School with a Junior High education.
• Those who do not graduate from high school will earn approximately $17,000 annually, and those who only graduate from high school but do not attend college will earn only $20,000 annually – both below the national poverty level. 
• The resulting social chaos from a lifetime of such low earnings potential is extreme.Only 1 in 10 will graduate from college.

In Memphis,

• 97% of African-American children attend public schools.  49% of white children attend public schools.
• More than half of all children living in Memphis live in neighborhoods of concentrated poverty (as defined by neighborhoods in which at least 20% of households live beneath the poverty level).
• Half of children living in high poverty neighborhoods change schools at least once per year.  Changing schools is associated with academic under-performance.
• Approximately 5,000 young men and women turn 19 every year in Memphis without a High School diploma. Shelby County residents who work without a High School diploma earn, on average, $17,000 annually.  College graduates earn $44,700 annually.

It doesn't have to be this way.  These statistics can change.

My desire for this year

My one and up-most desire for this year is to...

have a servants heart and to truly find joy in serving others. Jesus must increase and I must decrease.


I have been praying about this and today Rebecca in SMU told me that she had a dream about this. Funny how the Holy Spirit works.

Bring it Lord. Bring it.
And friends... keep me accountable to this. Thank you :)

Re-vamp

Last year when I interned at Refugees International and now this summer at World Vision I walked into the internships thinking that they were going to change my life. I thought that they would be filled with wisdom, lots of interesting people, and jobs that were infused with passion. I was somewhat right. I met a lot of really interesting people at both of these organizations. So interesting in fact that today when I was going over my syllabus in Community Development that I realized we are reading a book from my boss and another book from one of the Advisory Councils. Crazy.

After my internship in D.C. I realized that working in the office was not for me. I remember taking Myers Briggs quite a few times and read bio's on what kind of jobs would work best for an ENFJ. It always came down to social worker, teacher, or event coordinator. 

Before working at World Vision this summer I was stoked again. I forgot that I hate working in an office and accepted the reality that I will have to work in an office in order to make it to the field someday. Do not get me wrong, I really enjoyed my job this summer. I just do not think I am meant to work in an office (sounds naive since I am a college student). I think that God made people to live life to their full potential and if you saw me in an office you would see that I am drowning. Literally. Maybe it all comes down to the fact that I have not been in an office job where I am completely passionate, but that is besides the point. 

Today in Community Development my passion for development was renewed. All summer long development became this thing that was editing papers for the common good of children (that I constantly had to remind myself). All summer I felt like development was putting too much attention on unnecessary detail and people forgot about what the work was actually for. There will always be a great disconnect between the office and the work that is actually on the ground.

Raw and real development isn't all about that- although that is necessary. Today in class my passion for this subject came alive again. I was super  burnt out after this summer and after last fall. This tends to happen often when I am in an office setting doing something related with Relief or Development. When I worked at MIKA I knew I had to work directly with the people- that is where lives are changed and people are empowered. 

I am just happy that God never lets me forget, no matter how stubborn I am, that He desires His people to live lives that are whole and restored (Isaiah 61). Take a read and notice how community development is desired by God.

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 
       because the LORD has anointed me 
       to preach good news to the poor. 
       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 
       to proclaim freedom for the captives 
       and release from darkness for the prisoners, 

 ² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
       and the day of vengeance of our God,
       to comfort all who mourn,

 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
       to bestow on them a crown of beauty
       instead of ashes,
       the oil of gladness
       instead of mourning,
       and a garment of praise
       instead of a spirit of despair.
       They will be called oaks of righteousness,
       a planting of the LORD
       for the display of his splendor.

 ⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
       and restore the places long devastated;
       they will renew the ruined cities
       that have been devastated for generations.

Tomorrow is the first day of school!

This may sound silly but tomorrow is my very last "First Day of School." I am a bit of a dork so I already have my outfit set out (mainly because I have to work), my backpack ready to go, and my mind fully aware of what I am going to make for breakfast tomorrow. In honor of tomorrow we are all going to take some epic first day of school pics. You will see them soon.

Tomorrow is a free for all chapel but all my roomies and I are going because we cannot miss the epic DBC chapel. We figured it would be a good talk and an even more wonderful transition from summer into the semester.

Cheers to a new year! Full of love, joy, and LOTS of dependence on our Father (inshallah).



Also I love this song. I just had my sister listen to this and she was like "Oh yeah- I was at that concert." Haha, she is so on top of it.

My heart is all over ze place

We have all been there... having a bunch of ideas floating up in that glorious and complex brain of ours. Graduation in the near 9 months, my job starting up in a few days, trying to comprehend how the heck I am going to wake up at 8:30 everyday and end at 9 at night. I am a bit of shambles. It happens- it is all a part of life.

I will give you a little snap shot of the last few days with the new Biola babies. First of all I need to say something: I do not think I am an intimating person by any means. Apparently some freshmen girls think I am because when I talk to them they look like I am scary and too cool. Maybe I am just too overwhelming for them! I like to give them some hope so I have shared how I met most of my good friends the first few weeks at Biola. that is when i see a smile on their faces.

Tonight we had the commissioning of the freshmen/transfers to the Biola community. It was a lovely experience and I met some really nice girls who are eager to be at Biola. It is nice to have a fresh group of people who are stoked about school. Singspo took place after the commissioning- which is always good.

I have been reflecting on the fact that I, like many others (since we are sinners), get incredibly distracted by my purpose on this little earth. I often forget that God put me here for a reason and that my whole entire purpose of being is to glorify Him. If that is my entire purpose of being, then why do I neglect God all the time and forget about spending time with Him? This needs to change. I am most joyful when I am spending time with Jesus, who should be the #1 always. Today I caught myself in the car having a pity party  (in my head) over something and just stopped and was like "Seriously God, I cannot have pity parties, they are stupid and you are so much bigger- please do not allow me to have them." He stopped my pity party, of course.

This little heart is all over ze place. It is okay though- God is in the midst and is totally listening to some legit prayers. I hope I get some guidance soon- especially on if I should apply to Teach for America and/or Memphis Teaching Residency. Shoot up some prayers on those two please.

Back at a place i have grown to call "home"

It takes a lot for me to start to call something home. Biola has become a place over the last three years, going on four, where it actually feels like home. Driving off the 5 onto the lovely Firestone, making a right onto Rosecrans, and then left onto Biola Avenue has become a drive that is not only comforting, but feels right. Most of you know, or should know by now, that the only other place that I consider home is my home in Pleasanton (lived there from 4 years old until now).

I started up work (which has been basically a lot of hanging out) on Thursday with SMU/AS. I have loved every single second of it and feel so blessed by the people I get to work with (which consist of a LOT of my friends- score). We will be spending lots of time together so it is so good to just be enjoying each others company before school gets a hold of us and life gets a little wild.

A lot of my close friends have returned from internships/mission trips from all over the place including Calcutta, Peru, New York City, Zambia and many more places. I have been blessed with a lot of people who have an international mindset, yet see the desperate need in America as well. It has been an encouragement to me.

Every summer I feel like very random things happen to me. Actually my whole life has been pretty random and totally unexpected.This summer was kind of nuts and a lot of unexpected things happened. God answered some crazy prayers and had me learn some hard lessons as well. I learned a lot about love this summer and what it really means. When I say I learned what it really means, I just learned what it takes to really love and how God wants us to love Him. I have not particularly mastered the action quite yet- working on it (which will be a life long lesson for sure). The book of James has been teaching me a thing or two with this.

I have been alone in my apartment the last few days, which has actually turned out to be great. I have been able to really reflect on summer and what I want out of this next year. I bought a journal today just for senior year- so I can see how God worked throughout the year. I need to be faithful to that sucker!

I want this year to be God's. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and where God will take me, all I know is that I want to follow Him. I want to pray more and I want to learn how to be a better servant (which worked out because my job at school aligns perfectly with that). God needs to become more and I need to become less.

Biola is my second home. It is so nice. I walked outside my apartment yesterday and I know almost everyone in my apartment complex- talk about getting the hook up. I am so excited for this year and really sad that it is my last at Biola. I guess this means I need to really embrace every day- and not waste it away!

Every time I come home I find myself loving life and enjoying everything way more then I usually do. I always find myself thinking I am "sacrificing" something to be living in LA and then I feel bad and guilty for wanting to live in Northern California. Don't get me wrong- I love school and think it is great to live in Southern California for college.

I don't know why I feel guilty wanting to live in the bay. I wish I could figure this out. 

Just a thought.

Germany is a go!

Some people value night materialistic things. My family has always valued travel. Friday morning I received a call from my Maggi (my Stepmom) saying, "So I was just thinking... what days did you want to go to Germany?" I told her December 21- January 12. I thought she was just curious so I proceeded on with the conversation. About an hour later I checked my e-mail and got the most surprising message ever. She booked a flight for me to Germany and back- with her frequent flier miles that she didn't even know she had! I was in awe- she saved me about 1,000 dollars! I just feel so blessed. I am still at a loss of words.

Given that it is almost near to impossible to get a flight around Christmas with frequent flier miles, I will be leaving SFO on Dec. 21 to Boston, to Madrid, to Frankfurt. I have a fatty layover in Madrid (12 hours)! Which means... I am going to go exploring big time (if I can wake up from the Ambien I am going to take ha).

Looks like I will be sipping on hot chocolate spiked with rum, enjoying Christmas villages, skiing in the alps, buying a "Czech Me Out T-Shirt" in Prague (which is perfect because I am Czech), lots of best friend time, and much more for three weeks. I am a pretty happy girl.

Despite that lovely news, I am back at home in the bay getting lost in the stars, running into people left and right and eating delicious organic food. I have hung out with all my good friends, had a laughter filled bbq at Brads and heard some black bay area people scream "you go white girl" as I was going dumb to bay area rap last night at the club. Last night was reallyyy fun, but hearing that totally topped off my night.

I am in my element. This is where my heart is.

germany bound

I am saving up my money to go to Germany over Christmas. that is right, over Christmas. I am saying adios to the family for this holiday- which is a bummer- but i can't let my best friend celebrate Christmas all alone, that would be cruel. I will be in Germany (hopefully) for three weeks. first week is before Christmas, while I enjoy all of the cute festivities in Germany. The second week I will be in Austria skiing in the alps. No big deal. The third week we will hopefully be traveling to Prague in the the Czech Republic to give a shout out to my dead gypsy ancestors (holler)! 

It is going to be very cold while i am there. The whole time i am going to have to think "mind over matter!" I will happily take anyone's offer of warm clothing. I only own the bare minimum since I am not a fan of the cold. I need to save a butt load of money and by the time I buy the ticket i will be back at zero. But I mean, when else can my bank account be almost empty, I have three free weeks to travel, a free place to stay and a best friend who is living in germany? Close to almost never. This is the time to go friends!

Alps

 

Prague

I will take pictures of Germany... because I do not know all the exact places I'll be yet! This better happen.

Tijuana

If anyone knows me they know that I love my broken Spanish. It doesn't bother me at all and I still try to get by with it. On Monday morning, almost before the sun came up, a group of us World Vision employees jumped in a van and headed off to Tijuana, Mexico. The intention of the trip wasn't to come and do a week long missions trip, but to see what World Vision is doing on the field level. After all, the whole reason that World Vision exists is to do transformational work through communities.

Let me just tell you, it was amazing to see what World Vision is doing on the ground level. There seems to be a huge disconnect between the field when you are working in the Governance Dept, which deals with the highest people in society.

The place that we visited was an Urban Development Project (UDP). Ladies in the community came together, the children came together, and their husbands came to serve on the day that we were there to serve them. I thought they were just going to give us a ton of work to do, but instead they worked right along with us.

The things I took away from this tiny two day get-away were the following:

1. The work that WV does is sustainable. 50% of the funding comes from WV and the other 50% is from the community.
2. The people who run the community center are dedicated and see it as a place that is transforming their communities.
3. I saw hands on how the sponsored children felt empowered and were able to do more for their community because of the support of donors.
4. Mexican's are hard workers! Especially the women- I was put to shame.
5. There is a disconnect between the office and the field. I am so glad I got to see what the top actually does for the bottom- what WV is truly their for. I am glad that they have a program set up called "Vision Trips" so WV Employees can experience the work of WV on the field level.

I am just so in awe of how sustainable everything was on the field. Our Northern mind-sets sometimes have a hard time embracing and putting sustainability into practice, but the community center and the other projects that the UDP was working on were 100% community owned. I loved it.

Even though it was a short two day trip- it was the highlight of my time at World Vision. Lots of hugs and kisses saying "Adios" to those ladies and children.

Disconnect

Sometimes when you least expect it your mind wanders off into a place where you feel you have captured the world's problems. Or sometimes you cannot simply put an issue into words because you are at a loss of them. Today at lunch I was enjoying a delectable salad from Trader Joe's and started talking about different cities in the United States with my friend Hallie. We started off talking about LA, then New York, then San Francisco, lastly Chicago. There is only so long you can talk about something that is exciting on a surface level. Shopping, food, attractions all wear away. All of these cities have a disconnect. I suppose you could say that there is a disconnect between the rich and the poor in every major city. Some people think there is just a disconnect in  India, where there will be an endless Caste System, or perhaps South Africa where Cape Town is booming with money, but go to the Shanty Towns and you will discover that there is extreme poverty that is not always addressed or cared for by the rich.

Today on NPR I was listening to a story about The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. They give millions of dollars in grants to organizations all over the world every single year. The lady on NPR this morning was explaining that giving money to these organizations is just not enough. The Gates are starting to address and bring awareness of giving to people who have money. It is one thing for the Gates to be these good people who give money, but after awhile I wonder if they think they are alone (although I know a lot of rich people give) in this process. They are trying to get more people to give who have been blessed to do so. I really respect them for this.

Sorry that was a tangent. But I was thinking about it earlier today as I was discussing these cities with Hallie. Washington D.C. is our Nation's capital. If we are a country that believes in social services (after all we do have a democrat as President) and make policies constantly to better serve our people, why are they not being put into place? That is another disconnect- follow up on passing of policies (that is another story though). When you walk down the streets of D.C. you see people dressed in their best suits, best shoes, and maybe a few more wrinkles then they should have for working too much. You see money and you feel the power. If you go about 15 minutes North East of the Capitol you will hit poverty. If you go 20 minutes NW of D.C. you will hit even more poverty. You will meet kids who have no drive to finish school. You will come across homeless people who will share the part of their story where they dropped out of high school. You will see people in business suits running pass the homeless man into the Senate building because he is late for a hearing.

Almost every big city struggles with the the rich and the poor. Suburbs are left to the average income people so you do not see as much of it. It makes sense why Jesus warned us about money and power. It makes sense why Jesus, a man of power, loved the poor. It makes sense why Jesus did not want to hang out with the Pharisees. I wonder what it would look like if the rich (this is a generalization of course) loved the poor and saw them more then a "poor person," but as someone with dignity, a mind, and a heart. Sometimes I get these visions in my head where I actually see this happening worldwide- a little idealistic I suppose!

Haha, I was looking for pictures in DC and came across this. I could not pass it up.

swimming truth

The water is your friend.  You don't have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move.  ~Aleksandr Popov

 

There is one place in the world where I feel at complete ease: the water. Put me in a pool, an ocean, or a lake and I feel like I have experienced complete freedom. Moving underwater brings about a sense of silence, meditation, and body against self. It is liberating and comfortable. I always say that I would be a mermaid if God actually made them. Swimming brings about joy. Have you ever been swimming and people are not having fun? I do not think so. Despite being at complete peace while swimming, it is an excellent way to exercise. You work every single muscle. I agree with Mr. Popov. I have definitely experienced sharing the same spirit with the water. It is a swimming truth for those who love water.

jeremiah

i have always had a hard time saying that i "remember" a day that someone passed (unless they didn't know the Lord). it is more of a day of celebration, although it is still very sad.

today is the one year mark of jeremiah going to be with the Lord after a scuba diving accident. i can't believe a year has passed. jeremiah was a man of character, integrity, chasima, hardship and lots of love. his life was short lived and was much more challenging then any of us suburban kids could of dreamed up. melanie, a beloved friend of mine, has fought the fight this year and has been a strong woman- some days easier than others. i honestly do not know how anyone could do this on their own strength, thank goodness for the Lord's. jeremiah's death brought many people to Christ. his story has been lived on and is an inspiration to many. i am praying today for his family, loved ones, and especially mel. keep them in your prayers!

blog post last year on this...

Thomas Merton once said "A daydream is an evasion." I do not know if I completely agree with that. 

maps

Today after lunch I ran over to AAA to get a NYC map for my roommate. She has painted three different canvases white with the a black sky line of a city… that all flow together. For some reason she needed a map to complete the paintings (still waiting to see how it turns out). So being the nice roommate I am (jk, but really), I picked her up some maps. I always get super carried away with maps! I cannot contain myself so I decided to get maps of Downtown LA, San Francisco, NYC, and Chicago. Some may call me a nerd, but I absolutely love them. I could stare at them hours and often do. If someone has a world map up at their house I am always drawn to it and end up sparking up some kind of traveling conversation with someone nearby. Today I opened up the NYC map in the parking lot at work and just stared at it. My mind drifted off into this place where I was reminded of lots of vivid memories of my trips to NYC. I think that there is a special part of my brain, or maybe many peoples, for maps. Living in Washington D.C.for four months and riding the Metro absolutely everywhere made for a permanent map in my brain. I sometimes dream about it.

I think that maps have somewhat lost their value. People have become lazy and have resorted to a GPS because they are convenient and much more efficient. But what happened to trying to figure out the puzzle? Trying to figure out your destination? What happened to people who actually have a sense of direction and can locate North, South, East, and West? Perhaps even by just knowing where the sun and moon are located? I know that those people are out there… but our world is becoming more and more reliant on a machine to tell us where to go instead of figuring it out with our own brain.

I do not have a GPS. I do not plan on having one unless I need one for work or something. My Mom, sister and I traveled throughout Europe (Spain, Italy, France... and even Morocco- in Africa) with a map... we survived. 

Anyways, this is the DC metro map, which is very dear and close to my heart. You can learn a lot about a place through their public transportation system- but that is another story.