Oscar, my love.

mourning and grieving are completely necessary in life. whoever says that they are not is bogus.
i have been grieving and balling my eyes out about oscar for the last few weeks. i must say this is quite a dramatic process to go through. i love animals- a whole lot. oscar has been the best dog a family could have. we have endless funny stories about him and i have complete bragging rights because i found him in the newspaper when i was eight! he has brought joy to my life, has licked my tears away (which some may think is gross, but i think its cute), and has been spunky until the end..

he isn't the same oscar though. his skin is changing. he has lost hair on his butt. his pancreas has failed him and he can't hold any pee. he is constantly thristy and is shaking all the time. he has no strength to keep his head from hitting the ground when he wants to lay down... its so sad. every single day i want him to stay alive just so i don't have to say goodbye. but i think its time to say goodbye. i don't want him to suffer anymore. its so sad to see him suffer. i just saw my mom say goodbye to oscar and it was the saddest thing. i hate goodbyes.

through this whole process i have learned that the simple things in life are important, that oscar will forever be part of our family, and that i will never say no when my kids ask for a dog. growing up with a dog has taught me so much about responsbility and endless love... i can't even begin to tell you.

i love this little guy. i always will.

(his ashes will be placed in a pet cemetary in napa valley. atleast i know where he is going.)