jordan buie brought the gang all the way out from Tennessee to see beautiful California. it is funny when people come to visit. i feel that people come to california with huge expectations to see movie stars, see glamorous people, and to be warm all the time. its not always like that. i found myself saying "this isn't even the pretty part," because of my great pride for California. i love where i am from. i feel as if California is apart of me. when i was away in DC, i felt like i left my heart here. i do believe that culture truly does shape you. California culture, specifically the bay area, has shaped me. i feel that i am more open minded then most, enjoy diversity, long for nature, and have a friendly personality. that sounds like a huge generalization, which very well can be, but a lot of people in California are like this. it was fun having them out here and to show off this beauty (besides la mirada, ha).
in other news recently i have been thinking about life, direction, and where i want to end up. i feel like i am back at the ground level. i had to write a scholarship letter for school indicating why i should be awarded money to go towards school. this scholarship was for someone who had a clear vision of what they feel God has put on their heart. if you asked me two month ago to a year, i would have said "live among Muslim's, particularly in the middle east." now i don't know. i feel that it feels more right to say "do community development here in america and work with children." what? i don't get this. i actually feel quite frustrated. when people pray with me, even talk with me about missions, they automatically know my heart for Muslims. God has given me a heart for Muslims, for sure. maybe this is just a time in my life where i am in a funk and don't really feel anything. if i based everything off of feeling, i feel that my life would be in shambles... so maybe this is just a time frame thing. but i also don't want my own pride of saying "yes i am going to the middle east" to get in the way of what God is trying to show me through this process. maybe he is taking me on another road.
i have been thinking and have been challenged about volunteering and doing good for the Lord right here in my community. i really want to get involved with SAY YES or an after school program for low income families, such as MIKA in Costa Mesa, for the fall. i just love love love working with kids. it feels so right. i also wish i could reconnect with my good old arab friends on brookhurst who own the cigar shop (don't worry biola i am not smoking)!
hmm, in other news... good friday is tomorrow. i am eternally grateful for Jesus' obedience on the cross. so so so obedient and loving. i know we all know that Jesus died on the cross for the sins of the world, but do we ever think of the fact that if Jesus had to just die for me, angela, that he would still die on the cross because of his love just for me? wow, may sound individualistic, but its true. his love is STRONG. thanks Jesus. we don't take it for granted.
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