Life

Sometimes I feel somewhat ridiculous (which I am well aware that I am), that I always change my blog around. Sometimes I even get embarrassed. But then I think, who really reads this? I know there are a few people, but then again it is my place to write so I should be allowed to make it aesthetically pleasing. So there, it suites me.

In recent news, I have officially applied to over 20 jobs in the La Mirada, Fullerton, Whittier, La Habra area and have had no luck.

I have applied to one internship in D.C. and a job in Yosemite for the summer. I am applying for two more internships this week... hopefully there will be some luck there.

I have been praying about a mission trip to go on this summer as well and God closed both of the some what open doors for a SMU trip and for India.

I am trying to figure out what God is up too, but I know trying to figure Him out and His ways is not always the best way to go about things. Instead I am trying to trust that God will provide a job or a way for me to live very simplistically. Maybe a envelope of money will appear in my mailbox (cough: mom please). I have put myself on a $15 budget per week! I should be good for a few months.

In school news, I will be doing assessing and evaluating some projects for MIKA, a community development organization, in Costa Mesa this semester. I am pretty excited about it. I feel like a big girl finally with my development classes. All of my development classes and my classes in D.C. have finally come to meet in a beautiful place. I guess hard work does pay off. It gets me excited for the future.

I am starting to think of  how I will live once I get out of college and life in general. CHEAP. Since there are no jobs in California, or at least not around here, maybe I will end up in some random state for awhile. I would take any job out of college. I have thought about working at a national park, working in a tea room, working at a homeless shelter, working overseas for some random company, etc.

As one can tell many things in my life seem uncertain. Some would stress, but I am totally okay with it. Atleast for now.

God's got this.

"Ha, I put that there and it is not leaving."

God is funny sometimes.

Just when you think something is on your heart because you think it is, God is like "Ha, I put that there and it is not leaving."

That's how I feel with one aspect of my life.

I feel called to work among Muslims.

There you have it.

There are some things in life that make me squirm and feel incredibly uncomfortable (I could give you a long list if you asked).

This is not one of them.

I love the culture, I love learning, I love making friends of different cultures, and I love BUILDING BRIDGES!

I am amazed by the things God has put on my heart. Sometimes I stop and think "Really, Me? Why?" I don't know to tell you the truth. If you told me a few years ago that I wanted to work among Muslims I would have said "Ha, funny. I don't think that is for me."

The Holy Spirit is crazy and works in powerful ways, that is for sure. Through prayer, people I have met, and the way I feel at home when speaking about it and being around people who are Muslims, I know that God has put something on my heart that is by His will and not by mind.

I just want to love. I want to hug people. I want people to know they are loved not just by me, because my love can fail, but that there is a God who loves so much more than I can even fathom.

How beautiful is it that God loves so so so deeply?

I think He is beautiful.

I am in love, that is for sure. And amazed daily with the mysterious ways of God.

love

i am back at my beloved biola.

this is a place where i have grown, i have been broken, i have surrendered, i have made lasting friendships, i have grown in the Lord's joy, i have learned, i have been convicted, i have been motivated, i have been called, and so much more.

i love this place for so many reasons.

i love the people i have gotten to know the last few years, i love the faces i keep seeing everyday, i love being welcomed back into this community, i love seeing old faces- yet good memories, i love sunshine, ah... and well i just love it here.

i love being back at southlands and worshipping with my fellow brothers and sisters- in a quite lively way.

i love seeing professors and them knowing whats been going on in my life- i love seeing people who have followed my journey of passions.

needless to say, God is good.

i think one of the best things about being back at biola is being surrounded my dear friends who know my heart for the world. i love d.c. and the people i met there... they were definitely a huge part of my growing process as well. there is something different about my biola friends though. they KNOW my heart for missions.

i feel like i have been revamped. i saw one of my favorite professors the other day and he instantly asked about where my heart has been- regarding my passion for missions.

i feel renewed. i often let obstacles get in the way of things God has called me to...

i have felt a little distant from the Lord in the last few months. i think there are several factors that have played into this. the most obvious being that i took my health into my own hands and decided that because of certain issues i have... that maybe its best if i just serve in a country where i know there is excellent health care.

who says God can't heal? or that He can't take away sickness? or that i can't persevere?

i am taking a linguistics class with mr. peckham. he has been and is a missionary is Indonesia for the last 30 plus years. he has had the amazing opportunity to translate the new testament for a small tribe on the north west side of the island. for about 15 years he has been sick due to the fact that he went out and prayed around 5:30 every morning. during that time of the day there is a certain mosquito that makes people very sick and has the effect of making people weak for years on end...

that didn't stop him.

wow, i felt like i got hit in the face with conviction and realization.

so needless to say, thanks to Jesus and His glorious guidance I still want to do development (automatic given), but am more then open to missions...

because after all the only time i heard God's audible voice was when I was 18 in Belize when He said "You were made for Missions" in Belize....

and the fact that there are only a few places in this world where i feel at home: california and well any other country.

thanks Jesus.